for some reason that i care not to mention, i just don’t feel good. i’ve been upset but not like this before. i think that the reason i feel this way is due to in part that i haven’t seen my girlfriend in so long. i was never away from her for this time and it seems that tension is growing. i don’t know what to do and i don’t want to do anything. i just want to go fight the fight and get back to my life. i want to get out. i don’t want to die and i don’t want to get injured. i could careless if i got out and didn’t have anything to get out to, i just don’t want this life anymore.
besides that, i just want someone and i wish that this someone would trust me. i bend over backwards to make sure my trust is 100% proof of any dishonesty and yet somehow i get shafted and end up getting less then i give out. i can’t stand that. perhaps people don’t take me seriously and i don’t blame them. my character is one of a kind and its a difficult one at that. i’m basicly a kid. a small big kid. and i ain’t changing…
just watch…i’ll probably write this out more in detail later, but…
on brighter news, me and my friend are going to have a party when we get back to Texas and i plan on throwing up in every dark spot possible…hope there is enough beer for me…peace.